Love

Why is it that we can take so many risks in life but the one risk we are hesitant in taking is love? For weeks this question has been haunting me. I am finally in this place where I feel happy, but the one thing that immediately brings me down from this high is the famous "what if" question. I swear, if there is any question that I could take out of the English language it would be that question. In high school it was "What if i don't get asked to prom? What if I don't sit next to the hot guy in the cafeteria? What if I don't get one of those plastic crowns at the formal dance?" Now, we ask ourselves questions like "What if I screw up this opportunity? What if this chance never comes up again? What if I second guess myself? What if I follow my heart instead of my head? I can guarantee you that most of these questions have passed through your mind when thinking about love and relationships. These questions haven't crossed my mind as much as they use to but they have tonight...all for one reason.

Every episode that I have watched there is some life lesson at the end of it. And in some odd way I find myself relating it back to whatever is going on in my life. This week the lesson was about love. Do you take the risk? Do you fight for the risk? Or do you just go throughout life not telling people what is truly bothering you until you have a nervous break down? The last couple of weeks I have been carrying around a question. I have prayed about it, and got an answer in the form of an awesome, fantastic, super sweet friend named Sadie (love you Sadie...FYI she shares in my obsession with Grey's). But I am still pondering the idea if I want to be vulnerable and jump off the cliff for love. Do I talk? Or take the vow of silence? Eventually, I will take the jump and have someone to catch my fall. Hopefully, it will be in the shape of someone that looks the Dr. McSteamy/The Rock/ Justin Timberlake. But until then I have amazing, gorgeous friends and I have Grey's.